This is not a career I ever decided to create. It created itself through me, though people asking for hoops, classes, perfomances... and me scrambling to deliver everything that was asked for... and then some more. What a *flow* of life energy! It is this undeniable gushing of "the stream" that I yielded to in leaving the statement in place. Hooping IS my life work.. And it powerfully wants to express through me in ways which feel somewhat beyond my limited human capacity to fully understand.

I think back to who I used to be... living in such a limited box of possibilities. I was repeating my father's dream by studying to be a university professor (his calling). I had so much fear and I was so uptight. My body held so much anger and I didn't even know it. Smoking, drinking and overeating numbed it, but inside I knew something was not right.

When I discovered hooping, along with it came a vibrant community of enthusiastic and artistic visionaries. It was so amazing to be surrounded by students and friends who were on fire with inspiration to be creative with the hoop and experience their bodies in a whole new way. They inspired me to take risks with my self expression, my clothes, my personality and step into sensuality and radiance.

Then opportunity after opportunity. To be on tv, to be featured in magazines, to make instructional DVDs, teach at conferences, to design educational programs for gyms. Most of these scared the be-geezes out of me because I had no clue of where to start and didn't feel in the least bit qualified. But I decided to take risks by learning along the way and just letting the hoop guide me one rotation at a time. Probably the biggest gift from this whole process has been developing courage. I'm pretty much willing to try anything now if spirit guides me, even if the outcome is completely unknown.

Another big gift from the hoop has been letting go of my need to control everything -- in order for HoopGirl to grow to continue to do so, I've had to do a lot of letting go, entrusting others to take the reigns. I never realized how intensely I needed to control life until I felt the true liberation of trusting and learning how to lead.

One thing I love is how much life energy I am able to move into people's lives -- customers, students, audience members... but also, financial energy which I flow into our hoopmakers, teachers, office manager's, and performer's lives. There is this wonderful sense of "what goes around, comes around". I still remember while I was living in LA, my first hoop maker revealing to me that the money I paid her had completely supported her and her boyfriend for the entire year of her employment. I got such a good feeling from this, knowing that her life was enriched so financially from working with me. I think this is one of the best parts of having a business for me... in addition to me benefiting, I get to take my community with me.

Another strong lesson which all the success has brought, with me kicking and screaming in resistance, has been cultivating the ability to gracefully disappoint people. As the magnitude of work has increased over the years, literally absorbing every hour of every day, I've had to re-learn the art of extreme self nurturing. After all, if I am depleted, what can I possibly channel? So the hoop has really been teaching me a lot about this lately. So many people want free performances for "fundraisers", etc. There is only so much we can do, and after a point, we needed to gracefully say no.

For whatever reason, it has been a challenge for me to say "no" and feel okay about it. There are so many people I would love to hang out with at events and I get about a hundred emails every day or two... and I have just had to accept that I can't fit everyone in. It just isn't possible. And I will return emails late. And some calls or emails may fall through the cracks and not get replied to. This was SO hard for me to accept... but now, I am realizing that part of taking care of myself means I need to be able to say no when my spirit needs to be nurtured. All of this, the hoop has taught me. Amazing...

I could go on and on. The hoop has brought some of the most powerful women into my life that I know, some of my closest friends are from hooping, I met my husband while hooping, etc., etc... but I feel like this is enough to share for now.

Why this outpouring? Why now?

I'm here in LA to audition for America's Got Talent. Kind of amazingly ironic, since I haven't been on stage in about 1.5 years! I've been in super hibernation and manifestation zone creating new projects (they involved performing, but in contained amounts). Suddenly, I got this flurry of emails and a call about this audition -- everywhere I turned people were asking if I was going. Then contact from the casting director in an email and call was the final straw. I realized for some reason I really was supposed to show up at this thing! So here I am, at the O Hotel in downtown LA. My appointment is at 9:30am. What have I got to loose?

It was a really awkward time to leave SF -- we are just wrapping up all the final edits on Hoopdance Evolution and it needs my final "ok" before going to press. I'm so unbelievably thrilled with the outcome I hardly know what to do with myself! But it was clear that I needed to "ride the current of the stream" down here for a moment before bringing it to a close. I've rehearsed my 90 second routine about 150 times since I created it a few days ago -- both in my imagination and physically when I could. So we will see what unfolds!

I am so grateful for this wonderful life adventure! There are so many magically divine reasons I could have been guided down here -- something important that will unfold in a conversation with my dear friend, Ann. Something which Michael Beckwith will say at Agape tomorrow which may shift my reality. Or... who knows! Something wonderful is about to happen. I can feel it.

xoxo!
Christabel