My personal practice is: my personal time to work out any emotional issues I have, where I do ridiculously techy work of pure drills, where I gain move mastery, where pure play and unstructured exploration happens, where I download information, where I remember my wholeness, where I experiment with new material and where I go inside and meditate and connect to an introverted stillpoint. I love being alone during this time. In fact, I insist on it. This time helps me cultivate confidence, connection, joy, flow and inner peace.

Stage time is radically different. I have developed an actual stage practice which serves as a sort of yoga for me -- a union. It is designed to hook me up to a larger feeling of inspiration and channel a sense of wholeness to those watching. In this way, I am just a messenger for something much bigger moving through me. I often envision healing light downloading into my spine and flooding my nervous system, pink light emitting from my heart and out my limbs and eyes to those watching, and more...This is why eye contact and palm placement is key for me during performance. These are key transmission points.

My performance practice is: when I prepare in advance emotionally, energetically, physically and spiritually to shine, where I serve those outside me instead of myself, where I arrive with a pre-conceived vision or choreography to deliver in a deliberate fashion but allow for surprises, when I push through my biggest doubts and "fake it till I make it", where I share my art while consciously connecting with others to give them something specific.

This perspective is inspired by the by the ancient Indian and Greek dancing temple priestesses in who served the Divine by embodying the sacred in performance. Dance was used as healing technology to restore wholeness. I studied these dance practices while getting a Master's degree in Depth Psychology and Mythology and was hugely inspired to realize that dance is a form of visual prayer. This realization led me to reflect ..."What am I praying for in this dance?" I feel that being on stage is a responsibility and an honor. It is not for everyone and that is okay. But for those who are called, it will change you forever. Performance is at it's essence, transformance.

I need a rich personal practice time to feel good about performing. Taking the stage without the foundational inner work and healing from this time is not possible for me. I get resentful. I have doubts. I become bitter. I falter. Also, I have come to realize that where I perform is very important to me now... while I used to perform everywhere and anywhere, I now know that some environments are energetically depleting for me. Those tend to be where there are a ridiculous excess of drugs and alcohol and people overindulging. While I earned my performance stripes in these sorts of environments, I feel lucky that I can now be more selective.

Performance challenges me to share all the qualities I cultivate in my personal practice at a hyperamplified level. It is a service which emerges from a state of personal overflow. I have not been on stage for quite some time because I have been depleted from overwork and lack of personal practice and soultending time. While I am serving the larger vision of HoopGirl through my work, I also have a crystal clear inner knowing that my inner joy coils need some more nourishment before I can come back to the stage. This personal restoration is still deepening and enriching me.... it feels good. I trust the process. I surrender to the ebb and flow.

There is so much more to say!!! But I will share that for another entry.I am so grateful!