I'm at Harbin writing from the pay per minute internet kiosk. Unlike other nights which have had a glimmering carpet of stars *so bright*, tonight's sky is a dark carpet of clouds. The keys on this old fashioned PC are sticky and clumsy to use. The floorboards are vibrating my feet with thumping music playing downstairs for the thursday evening free dance. It is glitchey, deep thumping bassnectar type stuff. I really got my dance on the other night on tuesday in the temple, whirling into bliss with my hoop in a way i haven't experienced since the burn.... feels like just what I wanted. Now it is loud and sweaty with packed bodies down there... not calling me.

Outside has been sweet clean pure air. Cool to breathe in. I love how deer always seem to be feeding in nearby bushes and underbrush. Lizards and frogs emerge when the sun shines. Cats wander, creepiue crawlies everywhere and that rustle of wind through trees and the constant torpedoing of acorns falling from high trees which has actually nailed quite of few uf us with painful "pings"... the ripeness of fall nuts is everywhere. The pools are not romancing me here. The water is too cool for my taste and the paved swimming pool style set up doesn't call to me as deeply as Wilbur. No sulfer or fresh out of the river green-ness in the water here. I've decided i'll jet to wilbur next week sometime to get my hot spings fix.

Literally, i have had zero free time here to really bathe anyways. The schedule has been brutal, though the results of our devoted practice are sweet. The days which start at 630 have lasted as late as 10 pm, when I have stumbled incoherent up the hills from the lower conference center to the upper women's dorm to collapse in my bed until my alarm sounded at 6am. I feel bad for the other women in the room who have to hear an alarm while on retreat, but o well.

Today was rich. I was in NO mood to laugh when i arrived. I was exhuasted and couldn't get myself inetrested during the morning laughter, but something shifted in me once we moved to the second part of the session, into what is called laughter meditation. It was like a fountain of energy turned on in my belly and suddenly gushing, gurgling and pouring laughter just came out and out and out! It felt so fantastic, especially after I had just been in this moment of feeling like there was abolsutely no way I could access unconditional laughter. The magic continued for me throughout the day.

We had reporter come from the San Francisco Chronicle who was writing a story. It was really nice to *not* agree to be a part of the interview and story, even though given the opportunity. For me, always in front of cameras and reporters, it was like, "I don't need to do this now with this, I can just be me and have fun". It was sweet. We did a final laughter meditation surrounding the willing reporter for surging laughter and it happened again, that bottomless wellspring of deep, rolling, oceanic laughter just poured out of me again and again and again.

What is really nice while doing these exercises and meditations is that we all inspire eachother to let go even more. The constant eye contact, smiles and contagious sounds of everyone's laughs added to my own "fake it till you make it" sounds lead to spontaneous eruptions of delicious laughter. It is like riding these waves of energy ... and then the conscious breathing following that is so cool and refreshing in the lungs since they are so empty of stale air from all the events

Dr. Kataria is truely a wonder to behold. He has instantaneous access to one of the most sincere, authentic, childlike energies in an adult that i have ever experienced. He literally sparkles. What sticks in my mind most is his face when he is smiling. His jaw is released fully, he has lines where the skin folds at the outside of his eyes. He is over 50 and somehow going on 5 in certain moments... it is a look he gets in his eyes. A look of absolute presence and glee. Total contentment.

At the same time, Madan is this amazing physician, articulate, a leading edge researcher, a world leader. But in a moment he can access the power of playful silliness. He is absoluetly devoted to the work with a passion which astounds me. He is just so darn real and human. When he is beat at night, he yawns like crazy and nods off. When he is impatient he sighs. He doesn't pretend to be some guru or mystic with airs, and yet the simple timeless truths which he speaks between our exercises makes the air heavy with meaning.

Aside from all the science of laughter and the methodology and practices... some of the more spiritual truths and words which he spoke about which are still with me are:

-being responsible for bringing joy to the world instead of blaming outside forces for how things are
-being the positive change
-being authentic with who we are, not hiding our weaknesses
-letting our masks go because life is too short
-loving our imperfect, human self
-listening to the heart
-trusting a higher force
-God being in charge and the organizing factor which really matters
-moving from a purity of intent in sharing the laughter work
-holding a clear vision of what we seek to manifest
-taking time to cultivate a rich daily laughter practice
-meditating and visualizing after this daily practice so we have creative energy flowiong through our bodies
-remembering to be of service to others

and of course so much more that I can hardly remember as i am exhausted and so full with goodness.

What i haven't mentioned yet is Dr. Kataria's voice. He has a wonderful voice. First of all, his accent is so hypnotic to listen to with all the Indian lilting sounds which play with words in such a fun way. All the up and down tonalities of his accent are delightful. And then to listen to how he uses his voice so skillfully, as a tool to teach and encourage, is amazing.

He spoke the other day about how when he first came from India he had trouble speaking to others about his work because Indian people have a habit of speaking very, very fast. Also, when he spoke English he crammed all his words together. He realized very quickly he was not creating the effect he wanted so he took time to train with a vocal coach and play with speaking from his belly, and slowing down his words to leave spaces of silence around the key points that matter. He trained himself deliberatly in this way and I have to say as a listener, it makes him a very powerful speaker. Speed and inflections, tone and pitch are all used with intent... and this awareness also translates to his laughter compositions... I call them compositions because his laughter is truely like music. It is very wonderful when we wanders through the room spending a moment laughing with each of us during exercises, and he comes close and laughs with me for a moment. He is an incredible open transmitter of joy who has achieved such ease and grace in spilling out so many different sounds of laughter.

Up until today, I have interacted with Dr. Kataria and his wife very superficially because honestly I was at a loss of words when both of them came near. They just glow, and at the same time they seem a bit drained from their travels and I know what that can be like when holding space for a training and then hoping for a moment of energetic recovery on a break... i didn't want to interrupt their time. The few times I sat near him at a meal, it seemed like i just smiled at him (maybe I was smiling so widely i looked like an insane person?) and he seemed to look away after a moment. So I laughed it off, but in a way felt a bit bummed since I held him in such admiration but couldn't pull it together in front of him to have a normal casual conversation.

Well tonight was a sweet moment. As it was our last night staying over here, we had a talent show to break it up and celebrate eachother. Everyone asked me to hoop so I did (though I was looking forward to just sitting back in the crowd). I was the second act and people loved it. I danced to RaRa AVi's remix of Gopala, and near the end of the track I allowed myself to experience full laughter while hooping. It was quite amazing.... i 've never done that before. I just inahled deeply and opened my mouth, allowing myself to feel the bliss in the song and in my body and accessed full, deep belly laughter while performing. Everyone broke out in laughter in response and it was so fun to stimulate that in everyone. I went back to my seat and Dr. Katraria reached out, looked me in the eyes with a big smile for a long moment and just held my hand for a minute or so. It just felt so purely loving and sweet. His wife, Madri, asked me many questions about hoopdance and spoke such kind and generous words of admiration to me that I was truely honored. I gave her a hoop and DVD and she says she truely wants to learn and share it with friends in India. It is amazing to connect with such inspiring people... I also had a bit of a deja-vu, as in recent 15 minute miracle writings I have been including the visualization that I am now connecting with inspiring luminaries who are sharing positivity and joy with the world. And here I am, connecting with a whole room of people and wonderful teachers who are doing just that.

I'm so full. So much information and true full body cleansing. I have to say, it is a tremendous physical workout and emotional release to laugh so hard so much, even going to the point of tears with it every day.

*sigh* I'm beat. I think I have to go to sleep.

Everyone who has been emaling and calling, I promise I will contact you within a few days of getting back home to San Francisco!!!

Love to you all,
Christabel