Over the past week I have had some major realizations!
--I see that I have held in my emerging truths and experiences out of fear of being viewed as a fruitcake. Specifically, I have held back from initiating potentially "risky" spiritual conversations with people who I percieved as having different values.
--I also realize that I need to move to Marin county, out of San Francisco, for more of a daily connection to the green earth energy and a new lifestyle which is still revealing itself to me. My truth actually would prefer me to live in Maui or one of several other places... but i am willing to compromise to Marin county for my husband.
--I also realize that I have not spoken my truth in total clarity and honesty in my marriage with my husband... again, holding back a very spiritual and metephysical aspect of myself because we don't share that in common. As a result, I have had seperate lives... but it has been getting increasinly hard to keep up the separations as I have been having more and faster "ahas!"
-- I see that I have been, in essence, waiting. Waiting for the one day when I would have flocks of friends or my husband to walk a deeper, more mysterious path of light questing... but I suddenly realized it is MY path to walk and NOW is the time! I have dabbled and dipped my legs for years.. but now is the time to dive headfirst off the cliff and trust the oceanic depths...
--Finally, I also see that I have held back from my own expansion because my identiy has been so wrapped up in HoopGirl and I have been worried that fundamental changes in who I am as a person may make people think I am not as deeply committed to HG. (bizzare!) Fear of change, in essence.
It is almost like I had an explosion of truth happen, where I realize I simply cannot contain who I am anymore because who I AM is expanding out beyond the confines of consensus reality. My awareness is moving through kalidescopic changes, the ideas I am reading about are pushing me through to new understandings, my meditations are freeing dark clouds of emotions from my body ... I am opening my consciousness to connect with beings of light and angelic energies at a level beyond what I have explored before and trying to unravel where my imagination ends and the material world begins.... still lingering moments of self questioning...
While in Portland having lunch with Jasmine and Candice, we were chatting about this and I shared that I didn't even feel like I could blog about these things. Then Jasmine suggested, (duh), why don't you start another blog for this other emerging aspect of yourself? Candice seemed to take this all pretty easily, smiling and mentioning that she had seen this emergence happening for some time and sensed my work would expand out in many new ways...
So I picked up www.lightbliss.com (which is parked at the moment) and felt this rapturous sensation of liberation. Like just buying the domain was owning a bit more of my emergence. Ever since, I have made an effort to just talk about these new thoughts and insights with whomeever is interested, no holding back. What are these thoughts and insights? I can hardly explain it all yet in a cohesive way...
I guess I will just name some quick statements which feel absoluetly true to me now...
I am an immortal divine being incarnated on earth with a divine mission.
My job is to hold and radiate more light, and show others how to do the same, for personal and planetary healing.
I have flocks of angels, beings of light, ascended masters and a direct connection to Source to support my expansion.
As a lightworker, I am compelled to spend time amongst others who are shining with vitality, love and a clear sense of purpose so I can remember who I am faster.
I AM.
More is emerging but I have to run off to a dentist appt...
Books I am reading all at once are which are accelerating me...
Soul Lessons and Soul Purpose by Sonia Choquette
The Sacred Yes by Rev. Deborah L. Johnson
Harmony Angel Cards by Angela McGerr
A Harmony of Angels by Angela McGerr
Heart and Soul Angel cards by Angela McGerr
An Angel for Every Day by Angela McGerr
God Among Us: Inside the MInd of Divine Masters by Caroline Cory
While using the Millenium Series of Meditations from Orin at www.orindaben.com
We will see where this all goes... for now, all I know is that there is a wonderfulness in every moment ...
Today's image is from an amazing visionary named Amoraea... learn more at www.thelightschool.com