Thanks to all who wrote in support of last week's challenging situation. More than anything, I was taken aback at how *unstable* my emotional centerpoint was.. how vulnerable to swinging so intensely over something that obviously wasn't life threatening. With several days of reflection, I realize that even though it was hard to feel those mixed emotions and confusion, it was really a miracle in disguise because it has brought me closer to what really matters more than anything -- a sense of Connection.

I decided to take the day off and spent all Friday up north in beautiful land, meditating, contemplating, listening to soothing music and some Agape sermons from Michael Beckwith. Luminescent raw food, phone calls to a few girlfriends whose happiness shone through the line. Wandered, breathed, enjoyed the radiant sunshine. I drew my focus back to all the phenomenally positive things going on in my life --- the photoshoot I had don in Hollywood the day before at the biggest movie poster production house around (whose walls were covered with Spiderman, Titanic, Braveheart, etc)... I thought about the amazing contract I am signing with a massive organization who could literally transform everything about my whole life ... I thougt about Kramer's and my anniversary coming up and how grateful for him I was... how grateful I am that my mom has moved to San Francisco and that we spend so much time together ... grateful for my car, my body, my life, my friends, my freedom, my joy! Everytime a difficult thought came up, I just tried to replace it with one of positivity. Upon returning to the City, I went to the Best of the Bay award ceremony at the De Young and my energy continued to ratchet up the emotional scale with all the happy smiling faces and exhuberance. My mom went with me and was in the picture with me inside my hoop, which was fun in a very tickling way. We went to my favorite resturant, EOS, and sipped delicious wine while nibbling on succulents. Curled up with a movie and slept like a baby.

I spent all day Saturday day alone, beginning with meditation and then organizing every nook and crannie of our apartment, top to bottom, inside and out. I restructured my workspace, especially, to make a place for a mini altar of bright joyous colors. I added reminders of working as part of a larger divine plan to bring more joy to the planet. The whole time I organized, did laundry, cleaned, etc, I just focused on my breath and as I brought order to the space. Soothing music played with sweet oms and mountain streams and soft flutes. Order seemed to replicate it's soothing pattern in my mind and heart. I ate deliciously prepared raw food and flooded my body with water and good thoughts and remembered to floss and take my b-vitamins and flower essences. Then I journeyed south to Mountain View back to East-East Bookstore and came upon some inspiring resources.

As I paged through books and listened to various celestial music cds, I sensed my point of connection shifting up and into a wider connectivity with all people and things. My ego and all it's little worries seemed to shrink next to my own excitement and gratitude for even being alive, having the ability to transport myself so quickly and easily, a functional and beautiful body, and all the things of life. I even felt grateful to my brother for doing what he did since it allowed me to act in my own integrity and inspired me to immerse back into my spirituality to recoup. It was then that I picked up "Inspirations from the Heart" by Reverand Michael Beckwith with vibrant art by Rassouli, a book which I have picked up and put down dozens of times before... but this time, after opening it and reading the first page, it felt like all the cells in my body stood up tall and at attention:

"You are
The Universe in miniature
A Limitless being born to
Reveal the Hiddden Splendor of your Soul"

I paged through and breathed deeply with each page... soaking in the art, the radiance of the words, the feelings they juiced from my body and was instantly captured. What a gift. I left with that book and another called, "The 15 Minute Miracle Revealed" ... a slightly odd but captivating book about a daily 15 minute miracle making process to transform consciousnes.

This morning, meditation to begin the day, contemplation of "Inspirations from the Heart" and now I just opened "The 15 minute miracle"

I got to page 6 which is called, "The 15 minute miracle in a nutshell" ... so here are my responses to the exercises there:

Today is a day of joy, beauty, and tingling yumminess!
Today I will focus only on those things I want to attract into my lfie! I look for the good in all situations, people and experiences. I know that every experience is a gift which leads to opportunities for accelerated growth, happiness and connection. I choose to see everyone around me in the best light by focusing on that which i admire and enjoy about them. I have eyes only for beauty and goodness. I lovingly guide my thoughts towards more ease, peace and zany fun.

Postive Intention for the day:
Today is all about fun, light, brillance, bodacious beauty, conscious connection and overflowing love!

What I most appreciate and why:
I most appreciate being alive. I love my family deeply and I know that we are in eachother lives for the reason of awakening to deeper levels of awareness and love. I adore my husband. I love his generous spirit, his beautiful body and elegance of mind, his amazing creativity, determination to succeed and open heart. I love my extended family! I appreciate all the freedom I have in my life to do whatever I want, when I want it. I love that I have the opportunity to follow my passion. I love that I feel such clear guidance from the Universe about my calling. I so appreciate being supported at every turn by invisible but real assistance from sources of energy and light. I appreciate all the wonderful music I have in my life which inspired so many different emotional and physical responses from my body. I love having emotions because they allow me to feel deeply passionate and alive. I appreciate the knowledge that my emotions are a guidance system which shows me how closely I am connected to source. I appreciate being aware of all the resources which help me uplift my emotions and feel connected. I appreciate hooping and all the gifts it has brought into my life. I appreciate having such a fabulous apartment. I appreciate clarity in our real estate search to find a fantastic house to grow our family. I am so appreciative of all the AMAZING and WONDERFUL people who surround my company, HoopGirl, all the talented helpers, teachers, performers, and hoopdance missionaries who are collaborating with me to bring joy to more people. I appreciate having heat in our house since it is so foggy and that we have food in our cabinets. I am SO grateful for dance and my ability to connect through movement. I appreciate having such green vibrant plants in our livingroom. I appreciate all the art which surrounds us with beauty. I appreciate my computer, which delivers so many miracles of communication and exposes me to so many phenomenal ideas and people....

How I most want to f-e-e-l and why:
I feel like I am walking on air!
I feel as if I am surrounded by light which shines brightly from every strand of dna in my body.
I feel connected and divinely directed at every moment.
I smile as I feel good!
I feel flooded with vitality, health and zest for life.
I feel radically blessed!
I feel as if I am surrounded by flocks of giggling angels who watch over me at every moment.
I feel as if every single person and every thing on the planet are conspiring for my greater good!
I feel electricaly alive and full of overflowing gratitude, appreciation and wonder.
I feel a rainbow luminescent grid of light which connects me to everybody and everything.
I feel open and trusting.
I feel sexy and delightful about my body!
I feel deliriously passionate about my thighs and my abs!
I feel myself growing through joy and ease.
I feel hopeful and faithful.
I feel delightful, delicious and playful.
I feel zany and silly and fun!
I feel like I can imagine anything into being!
I feel ease in everything.
I feel connected and grateful for all of life's gifts.
I feel as if I am magentizing miracles into my life every moment!

Wise advice from my Inner Guidance:
Let go and love!

So that was today's 15 minute miracle... not even sure if that is what will be directed as the exercises in the book. but it sure felt fun to do it!

Thank you.