I would love to give a shout out to the Universe to say, "thank you!" for the amazing Candice Schutter. I am continually inspired, amazed and enlightened by her articulate speech, insights and brilliance.

There are times in life where suddenly I have felt overwhelmed. Although the opportunities flooding in are gifts, I don't have enough hours in the day to manage it. I am so grateful for the power of positive meditation, or prayer. I remember about six months ago asking the Universe for help and then suddenly, Candice appeared. Since arriving on the scene, she has brought order, clarity and professionalism to every aspect of the HoopGirl Teacher Training program. All I can say is thank you!!!!!

My biggest lesson is to learn how to ask for help and recieve it.

Divine Universe, thank you for your massive stream of support and love. I feel your guidance in every aspect of my life. I sense lessons in every interaction, every experience and every moment. I know that everything happens in divine time. I know that I will complete my divine tasks at the perfect moment. I remember to ask for help when I need it. It is easy to make time for the inner work that manifests outer changes. I listen to my body and mind and emotions and instantly realize when it is time to ask for help. I easily accept help and remember to acknowledge everyday angels with love. This is all joyful learning. Thank you!

I was finally back at the gym this morning after what felt like an eternity away. Something was always coming up. Excuses. The truth was when I was back there on the eliptical machine, watching people walk by through the huge windows with cute dogs and listening to Reverand Michael Beckwith on my i-pod, I felt better than I have in days. Then I came back and started hooping in the living room to Shaman's Dream's new CD and really felt some strong realizations. I forced myself to use an LED hoop (though I prefer my own) since I am performing Saturday, and it was interesting to feel the slippery texture and heavier weight on my body. The new feelings and the new thoughts fed on eachother a bit.

In the gym, Dr. Michael was speaking about paying attention. Paying attention to our conversations and our company. What we say and who we hang with. He was suggesting that (of course) we experience what we language. For the last few weeks, I have been languaging that I am exhausted. I have been languaging that I am overworked, overwhelmed and over every thing that used to excite me! Although I have been aware while speaking that every negative phrase drained a bit more juice from my system, I couldn't help myself. I was sick of hearing everyone complain around me and having to be the bright light. So I jumped right into the mix of negativity. I found the f*** word entering my languaging. I found lots of exasperated sighs. Lots of complaining. I let my eating habits go a bit, stopped working out and basically parked at my computer for hours on end (and actually accomplished???.... still trying to figure that out). Not so empowering. Yesterday I finally went to the eye doctor to address an annoying eye twitch which started several weeks ago and has gotten more extreme. His answer: completely stress related. It has become impossible to ignore that I need to make a big change.

There has been *a lot* going on with hooping for me. Big decisions to make on a level of commitment I have never dealt with before -- relating to both manufacturing my hoop and considering distribution offers on my DVD. Great gifts, but also great responsibility. Possible success but also possible sacrafice. I so wish I could spill my guts about all these gazillion of things I am thinking about on a daily basis about hoops, but I want to hold it all inside until something births.

This morning at the gym, listening to Reverand Michael talking about "conversation", I realized that my conversation has been downright yucky. I decided right then and there I am waking up my awareness again. I can start over today and begin fresh.

He also spoke about company, asking "who are you spending time with?" Who are you vibrating with? Who are you picking up habits from? Who is setting the feeling tone which is influencing your own development? My realizations from this question were: a) I need more friends to even vibe with! I need to get out more socially! and b) I need to sign contracts with organizations who are vibrating at a level which I admire (instead of letting myself get seduced by the wealth opportunities being offerred by companies whom I do not really vibrate with). It was like a flash of clarity. I am so grateful.

So this is why I have not written in what feels like a long time. I am re-booting my internal computer after a "negativity" virus sweep and hoping the reset sticks today.

Today I intend to look for the positive in every situation! Today I will look everywhere and see only blessings. My awareness is re-calibrated to focus on things which uplift and heal me on every level. My eyes will be magnetically drawn to notice beauty, joy and inspiration. My mind is has the habit of thinking about the bright side of things. My mind is a gratitude magnet! Thank you!

Saturday night I had a gig performing on a massive stage in front of thousands of screaming lesbians. It paid me quite a bit of money, which is why I sacrificed going to the Lightening in a Bottle Festival. It was a hard choice. My soul has been hungry for the outdoors, nature, warmth, friends and dancing inspiration. I deeply needed that rejuevination. However, miscommunication about my availability resulted in me needing to take this gig to maintain super positive relations with the company which booked me.

All weekend I had been thinking about friends dancing in the woods, laughing and celebrating and the dozens of amazing hoopers who were heading there to rock their hoops. For me, there is a caliber of rocking out that can only happen in it's most pure form when it emerges spontaneously. It is hard to plan it and predict it. It arrives suddenly in unexpected places, like my living room, a random field, or at a jam. But it tends to arrive more often at festivals and other outdoor events with great music and great vibes. The inner bliss is amazing to surf and this is the essence of hoopdance which is HOT. It feeds me.

This gig I performed at had low volume disco music playing which abruptly stopped and changed to R and B in the middle of my set. Although I had warmed up before going on, my body was not in electric communion with the music. So I did what any good performer would do. I smiled, imagined I was listening to the best music in my life, pushed my body to undulate and contort through lots of tricky moves and general ecstatic dance. Everyone was dancing and doing their thing, lots of smiles and screaming so I knew the spectators were enjoying it. Dozens came up afterwards to thank me. But did I enjoy it? Actually I should be grateful. Who else do I know who gets paid $100 per minute of work? And since when is hula hooping work?

I am wondering about the stage and my ability to connect to my higher self. Unsure at the moment that the stage is still taking me to a place of "electric communion" in the same way it used to. My last entry I talked about changing toxic to tonic... watching my conversations and company. I am aware of the needed change now... but still need to start making enough changes that it becomes a habit. Hooping is a non-verbal way of having a conversation for me. Who am I talking to with my dance? What am I saying? What am I intending? Who is it honoring?

I crave dark corners of nightclubs, the sidelines at hoopjams, the ability to be among others but also invisible to connect with what I want to hoop out. I want the conversation of my dance to be pure truth. Not sure it being on stage at the moment is the pure truth of my path. In short, I feel my personal practice calling. My hoop practice is wanting more depth, more enrichment. I have been skipping the last couple days because of doldrums and it is time to step it up. The journey I need to take right now has no makeup, no glamour photos, no audience. It is alone in my living room with the kitchen timer set to one hour per day - getting dialed in the old fashioned way.

Divine Source, thank you for creating spaces for me to remember connection through dance. I know that I can access a sense of freedom inside at any time. I can allow a divine download of healing dance at anytime, in any place and within any situation. I trust my breath to connect me to a sense of grounded peace and bliss. Yes! Thank you! I allow myself to feel gratitude overflowing out of every cell in my body for the amazing life! I look for blessings, what is bright and what is right in every situation to admire and celebrate. I focus on radiance and vitality in every opportunity. I can shift my awareness back to connection and the positive at any time instantaneously. I come back to gratitude as my master medicine for wellbeing and wholeness. Delicious, inspiring energy floods my body every day! It is easy to have the enthusiasm and focus to commit even more time to my hoop practice. I show up for myself ready to have fun!

Over the last day I have been revving up for Kramer and my trip to Maui and Kauai for two weeks. We leave next thursday and honestly I haven't allowed myself to get too caught up until now. But it is really happening! Yesterday, we picked up "The Ultimate Guidebook to Kauai" and the amazing images and material has renewed my inspiration! Wow! I also just realized that I arrive back at 11pm June 7 and am leaving the next morning to go to hoop it up at Harmony Festival... what a wonderful re-integration to the mainland!

Our trip will begin in Maui at a house on the beach for a week to celebrate with friends who are getting married there, then we go onwards to Kauai for another 8 days. It has always been a fantasy of mine to go to Kauai! Now, reading the entire guidebook cover to cover, I am totally caught up in a dream of lush tropical green, blue twinkling ocean pools, golden sands and delicious fruits. Waterfalls galore! Magical ocean coves... amazing hikes! Snorkeling for the first time! Sea kyaking... relaxation on the beach...Special alone time adventuring with Kramer ...our mini moon since we actually didn't get to go on a honeymoon after our wedding. I booked us an oceanfront cottage on the Eastside at Kapa'a Sands Resort for 3 nights and then we will move to the end of the road up north for 5 more days to a studio apartment right across from Tunnels Beach. I have my fingers crossed that all will unfold magically. So far, I've just gotten all the flights, rental cars and housing dailed in. Over the next few days I will try to make a list of things we will try to catch each day which friends have told us we "can't miss".

I haven't felt myself fantastizing with anticpation like this for a long time. I already sense from everything I have read and seen in images and words that there will be some magical experiences and revelations unfolding for me on the islands! Also, I hope to have some delicious hooping as well...

Mostly, I am excited about the warmth and the freshness and vibrancy and being surrounded my nature! My soul is hungry for green energy to surround me at a level which I can't make happen simply by eating more greens...

Thank you for the gift of inspiration! I am so excited to loose all sense of time and feel totally relaxed, at peace and energetically renewed. I am open to new adventures and a pure experience of true wonder and awe. I am receptive to feelings of bliss, rapture, enchantment and passion. With every breath I take, I can feel tropical healing oxygen flood my body, saturating and nourishing my body. I allow myself to become a walking embodiment of lush, tropical paradise. I love being saturated in the restorative, living energy of nature. I welcome delight, reverance and a sense of cherishing each and every moment which unfolds. Thank you! I am so grateful!

This morning I listened to Stella Mara's Star of the Sea album while hooping. Practiced globular hoop spinning, body bounces and rolls, isolations, reversing travellers with step-through-pauses and reverses, step out pauses and reverses, and a crazy barrel roll step through pause reverse again and again....

Thank you for focus.

Finally back in the gym this morning after a week of queasiness. I've gone on a cleanse to scrub out my system and am grateful I could face going back. I have been sleeping so much! Wow, sleep is amazing.

Just took a nice long bath and whipped up a green smoothie. Yum!

Saturday Morning Spinach-Strawberry Smoothie
1/2 a bin of organic strawberries
bunch of organic spearamint
2 banannas
1 bag of organic spinach
2 cups of water

I am completely inspired by a book I am reading called, Green for Life. In it, raw food authority Victoria Boutenko reveals the vast healing potential of raw green plant fiber and demonstrates how it packs as much if not more protein than other sources, and is more easily assimilable. She suggests that for optimum, radiant health, the average adult should be consuming at least two bunches of greens per day! To help with this otherwise unpalpable endeavor, she suggests making green smoothies mixed with fruits. This makes cosuming large amounts of plants daily a delicious and easy joy. The blending of the greens also helps to make all their nutrients more assimilable as well. She conducted her own experiment with a group, having them drink a gallon of green smoothie per day and after a month discovered miraculous health improvements... I haven't gotten there yet in the book, but I will include an update. Frankly, she already had me convinced from the back cover. It feels so intuitively right! When I was on the 21 day detox and drinking so much green energy soup, I felt the cellular transformation happening. She makes a good point in this book, however... that to avoid getting completly sick of it, you have to keep changing up your ingredients. Obvious, I suppose. It was elusive to me when I finished my last detox and couldn't face energy soup again for a while!

What does all this have to do with hoopdancing? I feel as a dancer devoted to transformation through movement that nutrition is of vital concern! Hoops whirl around my body and massage my organs, tone my muscles, engage my bones... but what is happening inside on a cellular level? The question of efficient and nutritious hoop fuel is important to me. The more raw food I eat, especially green, the better I feel, look and perform. I love experiementing with my body and noticing what dietary changes effect my moods and energy level. Also, my endometriosis requires that I overcompensate in the more immune boosting direction of everything I do so that I can stay healthy. Sometimes I feel like endo has visited me simply to teach me how to take better care of myself -- eat better, think in more positive ways, sleep more and stress less... these are all challenge areas for me which it takes a lot of conscious effort to support.

Well it is gorgeous outside!!! I am excited to go out and stroll in Golden Gate Park. Tonight I'll be hooping at Ruby Skye and I am actually really looking forward to it. Tomarrow will be amazing for hooping as wel! The Bay to Breakers Marathon! Any hoopers who want to go with the Deep End crew are welcome to meet us at Shine Lounge on Mission Street at 8am. We will join the parade from there.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Sunday's Bay to Breakers Marathon was an awesome dance adventure for me! We gathered downtown at 8am dressed in gobs of juicey pink, danced the six miles to Golden Gate Park in the middle of the parade/marathon, danced and hooped in the park for many more hours and then moved to Shine Dance Lounge until 9pm! I don't think I have danced for so long since New Year's! The whole way we had a massive portable sund system being pulled so we had rockin house music tunes. I discovered this entire world of expression in my fingers, hands, wrists and arms -- massaging the music and jamming out. Wow! THIS was electric communion!

Thank you!

Well Hulaerobics is finally for sale in the online store at www.hoopgirl.com! I was contracted to do this as a buyout for Universal Pictures UK. I had no idea I would actually be able to sell them myself until recently, when they made the offer. It is an ENTIRELY different animal from my other DVD, HoopDance For Beginners. Basically, I was hired to act and perform in this vision which was the vision of Heart and UP, as opposed to carrying out my own vision as in HoopDance for Beginners. At the time, I had SO many reservations! Now I have come to peace with the fact that it was a wonderful gig and I feel honored to have had the experience. I feel so blessed to have been part of a hoop event that was such high production value AND that they let me squeeze some of my own essence in with my performances. And I do know that this DVD will appeal to an entire audience which my other DVD could never reach.

It is amazing that this was filmed all in ONE day. I flew over to London in December, rehearsed for a week with a director every day and then on Saturday they shot the entire thing, chapter by chapter. Having to speak all from memory was quite a challenge! And having to do the interviews and two performances at the end of a 12 hour shoot day was even more challenging! But it happened. They had tons of lights and camerapeople and production value happening and it was quite a honor to be invited to be part of this vision. While I personally have a very different approach to hoopdance, it is a nice feather in my cap. I hope that viewers don't think I have changed from my essential nature, however! I had to act like an authoritative fitness guru and speak in a tone of voice foreign to my own classes. Watching it does make me giggle, honestly. As I said in the ads, my absolute favorite part are the two performances in the bonus chapters.

However, I can say from personal experience that if you really do the entire DVD start to finish, your butt will be kicked!!! After rehearsing it for 5 days in a row doing it start to finish each day, my whole body ached and felt worked! Life is such an interesting adventure.

Thank you Universe for the wonderful opportunities which have been given to me! I see a flood of commercial, DVD and film opportunities continuing to come my way from good people who share the love of hoopdance! I see these many experiences widening my perspective and stretching my boundaries. I see millions of people learning about and loving hooping! I also see all the DVD projects I have already done reaching more and more people everyday. I see people getting fit, feeling sexy and having fun with gyrational movement which heals and transforms their bodies on many levels. I see my own health, wellbeing and radiance growing so I have authentic positive energy and enthusiasm to share. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

We are at an amazing house right on the water in Paia! The ocean rolls out in all directions from our bedroom window and the backyard. We have an awesome pool, ocean water steps away and it is good to be here.

See all the pcitures here from day one:
www.flickr.com/photos/805...00273031101

I've been doing a bit of hooping, but mostly just soaking in the luscious greens and blues. My cells feel like they are healing. Swam in gorgeous pools of water, saw wild orchids, hiked for hours along a creek then lost up a wild ravine, am drinking lots of green blended drinks, my senses are saturated by the juicey art. The sound of the ocean outside is constant and it is so soothing. Palm trees always seem to be blowing in the wind here.

We have a huge house right on the water where the wedding will take place today. We are staying for a week here then we go on to Kauai. There are 7 couples staying here, going on outings together, cooking meals together and chilling. The boys got a huge sound system, so it actually has been quite a party here at times. Not quite the vibe I came to Hawaii seeking since I can get plenty of that at home. But I know that I will get more quiet time in Kauai... and also when I come back soon - which I know deep inside I will be doing very soon. I've had nice private time going off to classes at Studio Maui which has felt really nice.

My passion for color has been stoked! I have always loved vibrant hues but being in San Francisco I had observed my own choices have dulled a bit to the less shocking tones of the city. But being here and seeing vibrant flowers and fruits and the land alive and singing has rekindled my cellular recognition that colors heal! They soothe my soul, at least, and I love them. I am determined to keep bathing myself in wonderful colors.

I've loved the art here! I've wandered in lots of galleries and just soaked up the creative vibe. It has stirred my own passion to follow through on some art projects which I have always wanted to do, but never make time for. Specifically, I have always wanted to take or gather remarkable images and photoshop them together with textures and colors to make orginal metaphysical art pieces which can be printed onto canvases and also used all together to make a set of affirmation cards. With sparkling vibrant luminous colors and otherworldy beauty. It is a dream I have ... being here is reminding me to listen.

Yesterday I took a Gabrielle Roth 5 rhythms dance class as a way to meet up with a woman named Erin who teaches Nia and hooping here. Then this morning I took a Nia class taught by Erin. WOW -- what a deep realization I had. Such different movement forms! Night and day. Kindergarden and post graduate work. I realize why I have had no interest in 5 rhythms work since I began dancing years ago. It is just so darn basic. The instruction is so open ended with too much room for touchy feelyness for my taste. While I appreciated being in such a wonderful studio surrounded by such open minded and colorful souls, at the same time there were moments where I thought I would just start hysterically laughing at how breathy and dramatic and non-specific everything was.

By contrast this morning I had a sincere spiritual experience in the Nia class. Erin's voice was soothing and had wonderful pacing of speaking and silences. Her instruction was easy to follow and direct. She had access to an entire range of words to describe movement precisely and named parts of the body and their possible articulations so clearly. She introduced principles, but in an easy way which allowed openings in the body. Suggestions for exploring our own body's way was specific and direct. Yet at the same time it was so playful and open.. but still a push to expand out of comfort zones. Of all the Nia classes I have taken, her method feels the closest to Carlos and Debbie's. What a joy. At the end I was looking up at the ceiling thinking that I felt more at home in that moment than I had in a long time.

I've spent about an hour speaking to Erin after each class and she is an amazing woman. She lives here on Maui and teaches about 5 classes per week. She spends the rest of her time gardening and consciously listening to music -- for about 4 hours a day. Amazing... a part of me was thinking, "you mean you can live like that? Just enjoying yourself?" I have been working so hard for so long that honestly her pace of life sounded like paradise! I 've got a lot to think about and enjoy while I'm here.

Thank you for the magical gift of Maui! I am so grateful to be here surrounded by such beauty. I feel myself becoming more whole, healed and peaceful with every moment. I am so happy! Thank you!

Everyone is downstairs drinking lots of alcohol and dancing. House music is banging away. The wedding took place a few hours ago, followed by lots of food. I sat next to the horsderves for a while, staring at goldfish crackers going stale from the recent rain a few minutes back and wondered exactly what to do with myself. Perhaps it is because I am such an introvert, but I have felt a bit out of place at this gathering. They are "Kramer's friends"-- my husband's friends -- and there is a part of me much more comfortble pulling inwards than reaching out to relate to a different vibration.

Quite frankly I am here to heal. I am burntout beyond burnout. I need to cleanse and restore myself and be nourished. To me, Hawaii represents purity, cleansing, health, nature and connection to spirituality. I'm pretty clear that doing a week long house party here in Maui is not my my passport to personal transformation. I've tried to be a part of the wedding group-- after all, I am grateful they invited us to join their celebration and all. I don't want to seem like the standoffish one. But I am seeking a whole different level of consciousness than what is going on here.

Before I came upstairs to blog, one tipsy girl leaned over and said, " So tell me about your best friend." I could tell she was wanting to make conversation and connect. But honestly I didn't know what to say. "I don't have a best friend," I said. A couple people nearby stopped their conversations and looked over, obviously interested. "Well," I continued, a bit embarassed, "I have friends, I guess I just don't have one person who I am super tight with." I kind of wanted to cry when I said that. Suddenly the photographers called for more shots and we all leapt to our feet. I was grateful for the distraction from my life.

Lots of awkward self awareness happening for me here I guess.

Anyways, I am exploring how to be who I truely am called to be even if the entire flock I am flying with is going the opposite direction. Everyone here all thinks I am very eccentric with my salads and raw foods while they do shots and create endless buckets of empty Corona bottles to recycle. Meanwhile, I am drinking at least a couple glasses of wine everyday out of habit of "going along with the party" and then feeling like crap about myself for doing it. Drinking wine doesn't make me physically feel bad, I just get mentally hard on myself since I know it is not a nourishing substance and what I need right now is nourishment. I notice it is harder to connect with my heart center after doing that. I also notice that I have mood swings. Not what I want to create for myself right now.

Outside the waves are crashing. I can feel the wind on my bare shoulders. I should go back downstairs...

Addendum: The following was added after a flood of responses...
I woke up and the first thing I did was reach for the computer. I was totally clear that I had to immediately erase this blog entry! This morning my thought was, "what a pity party that was! I can't believe I did that in front of everyone!". When I opened the laptop and saw there were 5 responses already I was so surpised. I guess it is staying. Heck, we are all human.

Wow! Another day has passed and now so many more comments! (on tribe.net) Thank you everyone... yes, of course! Live life as life is lived in the hoop... in flow. Duh! It is so easy to forget the most obvious insights when you are in the middle of things. Again, it feels so good to know that I am not the only one who has had feelings like this come up! And, as with all things, over a day later, I feel good. Time has gone on, I have been hanging with the crew more and of course everyone is beautiful and wonderful. But what a mental wrangle I had over it. It was very revealing to me about how much I actually isolate myself because of percieved differences. No one else was isolating me! It was all me separating myself because of my own issues. Anyways, thanks again. xo

p.s. The image for this blog entry is a piece of amazing inspirational art by carolynquan.com

This is our last morning on Maui! Time has flown. I had a great talk with Kramer yesterday and was able to let go of a lot of the heaviness I had created in my own mind the night before. It is amazing how I can percieve myself as easy going and flexible and yet realize how inflexible I truely am about some things! Ah, so many places to soften into... what a human journey.

Yesterday we drove part of the highway to Hana and stopped at several waterfalls and pools which were gorgeous! Surrounded by lush green.. everywhere. Leaves were pre-historically huge. Lots of boulder hopping up a creek to an ancient feeling grotto pool with electric lime green lichen growing on glistening dense brown rocks. A massive vertical drop of jagged wet rock which looked like the deep throat of an ancient being. We all sat around that one for a while not saying anything, watching the sun reflect off rocks, small crayfish squirm on rocks and observing the dense cloudly brown soot that coated the rocks... not much fresh water happening there except for trickles coming down and out of the rock face. I wondered who used to come here and why.

Driving more... the Hana highway is a lot about driving! Around mile marker 11 I jumped... it was one of the shoot locations from HoopDance for Beginners. It was quite thrilling to see it again. More driving... the sun shining SO bright. The water SO blue. Endless blue. Warm moist air blowing in the car window. The air itself heavy with water and oxygen and feeling so fantastic and perfect for my body. High moutians with swaying shapes of bamboo forest and other trees. Huge vines with thick roots coiling and looping around tall trees, many rooted banyan trees, flowers exploding with color, the smell of earthy dirt and mud as we walked well beaten muddy trails. The sensory overload is delicious and feels so awesome to me!

Finally came to Ching's Pool at the end of our short Hana highway journey. A massive deep pool with a waterfall and micro-cosmic pool with many rocks at the bottom of a 40 foot overhang. Only 75 feet off the highway, down a muddy trail and jumping into the pool. The water was so cold! But it felt great. Kramer scaled the rock face and jumped in several times from a 20 foot overhang. My heart trembled as he did it, but he had fun. Then a local came and started jumping from the 40 cliff into the bouldered pool with no margin for error. All the boys' attention was magnetized. Another young kid from California went up to the local on the cliff and started getting coached on diving in. We all were *Very* skeptical. It was an incredibly dangerous jump. Prayers, video tape running, camera's ready, and he did it with no problem. Then of course Kramer had to go up there and ponder an attempt. Thank God he decided against it. I led a round of applause when he decided not to jump. Life is so good.

While we drove and hiked, conversations happening about all kinds of things... but also matter where we go, there is an omnipresent knowledge that this healing garden of an island has been over-run by tourists. On every windshield of every tourist car is the same guidebook we have, "Maui Revealed". A book which has clued tourists into a lot of "secret" spots, but also pissed off lots of locals. We resolve that as long as we are conscious and leave everyplace as god of better than we found it, it is morally okay to be here. Plus, we are geneously controbuting to the local economy. Phew!

After our return, I went out again with a girlfriend to see an art gallery which is exhibiting Carolyn Quan's artwork (see all the recent pics added to my tribe photo gallery and also the image with this blog entry). It was AWESOME to see her items in person. So mystical. So inspiring! And then back here to lounging, conversations, drinking, eating, sleeping, cleaning, etc.

Overall, I have the sense that I could easily live on an Hawaiian Island. Not sure which one would be the best match, but I have a clear inner knowling that I may be called to relocate at least half of the year here, and spend the other half of the year in some fun US city. I have some projects to accomplish first, but it is a wonderful recognition. A wonderful clarity.

I am so grateful to be here!

p.s. Again, amazing art image for today's blog by carolynquan.com

I love it here. The Hawaiian islands are so wonderful. Kramer and I arrived on Kauai yesterday and I've been floating in the pool reading and feeling so relaxed. Now we are gearing up for our first adventure hike to some waterfalls.

While I have spoken to Kramer in the past about living in a warmer climate, he has always been resistant. He is a city boy and loves San Francisco and his whole social network there dearly. But he has actually agreed to consider us getting a small condo on Maui and a small economical condo in the city. It is amazing. His ability to compromise makes me very happy as I felt us approaching an impasse in what we each wanted and I didn't know what would happen to our relationship. Also, for the first time I can actually imagine having children. Raising kids in SF was not a nice thought in my mind... but I could see bringing up a child on Maui. I feel this rush of new beginnings and new possibilities sweeping over me. The way you feel when you have been living one way for a while and sensing you need a change. Then suddenly, there is a light showing the way.

Of course this is all incredibly impulsive. We haven't really sit down yet with all the numbers and formal plans of how HoopGirl can be run from two continents and all... but my heart feels a great relief. I honestly feel myself growing more mature. I am devouring books and feeling my imagination soar. I am feeling deep creative impulses to make art. I devouring orchids with my gaze and realizing passionate interests in things relating to a more relaxed, slower, more nesty lifestyle. I feel ready to continue birthing the HG projects which are about to happen and then let some of the amazing hoopers working with me take a larger role running the company.

Not sure how we will manage... while I like 6 months in one location, six in the other, Kramer likes the idea of going back and forth more frequently. We shall see... who knows what lies ahead but the feeling of *new possibilities* feels fantastic!

off to the wilds,
xo
c